Cowabunga! Time to beat this ugly dork from the past,
(Bores exclaims that he'll easily beat AVGN, calling him both ugly and a dork due to many nerdy characters having acme-esque problems on their face, and he says that AVGN is outdated, while Bores did his show later than Rolfe did. He also says "cowabunga", a commonly-said catchprase said in the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon, this could also be a reference to the fact that both Bores and Rolfe did a review on TMNT games, and many of the jokes Bores used were used from AVGN's review, due to Rolfe's review coming first, so it could be that Bores is immitating Rolfe.)
The ultimate duel of angry gamers has finally come at last!
(Bores thinks that many people (most likely people who dislike Bores) want to see a battle between himself and Rolfe, so he'll give it to them.)
You say I'm a copier of your show? Well that's just damn absurd!
(Bores has been called a rip-off of AVGN by many people, since most of the content in Bores' episodes were already used by AVGN, even going as far as saying Rolfe's most famous catchphrase, "what a shitload of fuck!". However, Bores denies this fact and calls that accusation absurd, or crazy.)
You're just an angry retard, you're not even really a nerd!
(Bores calls AVGN retarded, or disabled, due to him "mindlessly" yelling at video games, and due to AVGN's actor, James Rolfe, who has no outside "nerdy" personalities, he calls him a fake.)
Your show is as lame as it gets, at least mine has special effects!
(Bores used many effects in his show (most of them being poor quality, one most notably his older "explosion" effect, which was stock and repeated in various episodes), while AVGN didn't commonly use special effects, and he calls his show "lame".)
I'll take down this geek like G.I. Joe took down the jets.
(Bores reviewed G.I Joe for the NES one month before this video was made, and he says he'll defeat AVGN like how GI Joe takes down jets.)
I review the worst games dude, your videos are simply a bore.
(Bores says that he reviews games that are worse than the ones AVGN reviews (when ironically, Bores used many games AVGN reviewed), and he calls AVGN's videos boring.)
You've entered the Game Lab, now let me give you a tour!
(Bores' room has many games, posters, and merchandise of video games inside his room, so he calls it a "game lab")
AVGN? Doesn't even compare to the IG,
(The moral is obvious, Bores thinks he's better than Rolfe.)
'Cause this OG's gonna make this has-been R.I.P.
(Continuation of the last line, although IG says that he'll kill the Nerd, or make him rest in peace, (R.I.P), .OG also means "original gangster", something said by many rappers.)
ET was something I reviewed before it was even known,
(The Irate Gamer reviewed ET years before the AVGN reviewed it, and since many people say that AVGN was more popular than Bores, he says that before AVGN reviewed it (or make it be popular, making it a major plot for the AVGN Movie), he reviewed it.)
I'll show you my robot, R.O.B., he's as cool as a drone!
(In the "Irate Gamer Movie", R.O.B was an ally and helper to the Irate Gamer, being able to destroy and defeat nearly anything with ease, usually with just a laser, so he says that he'll call R.O.B, and make it kill Rolfe.However in AVGN R.O.B is an enemy to him, so this also fits in.)
You wanna duel with me? I'll make you my bitch in defeat!
(Bores says that if AVGN wants to fight with him, he'll make him his bitch, (or slave) when he defeats him)
Since all you seem to talk about is the importance of skeet!
(This may be a reference to Skeet shooting, a sport where the players have to shoot clay disks in mid-air with a gun, and AVGN has shot many of the bad games he reviews, (or destroys them in any other way), so Bores has become used to it and be bored by the idea, but it's not really clear what it means, since Bores has been known for doing that, as well. Skeet is also a slang term for ejaculation, which is likely a reference to the Atari Porn games and AVGN's frequent use of the word "fuck.")
I'll Super Smash your hot wife, since you have all of my hate!
(Rolfe, is married in real life, who's been called "hot" by some people, and Bores says that he'll have sex with her, or in this case, "Super Smash" as reference to super smash bros.
In other words, you little shit, you make me Irate!
(Bores plays a pun on his own name, "Irate Gamer", and "irate" is a word for "mad", so he says that Rolfe makes Bores extremely mad.)
You know what's BULLSHIT?! Copy fuck farts like you!
(One of AVGN's most notable side shows is You Know What's Bullshit?!, where Rolfe rants about generally useless and horrible things that are commonly used, and he calls Bores a "copy", for many various reasons above. "Fuck farts" is also an insult AVGN used mostly.)
Think they can recreate my show, and claim it's something new!
(Irate is one of the many, many, video makers who gets haters for doing the same thing as AVGN, such as Game Dude. And as stated before, AVGN calls Bores a copy for many reasons above..)
Forget you man, looking at your face makes me wanna hurl!
(Bores' face has been called "ugly" by many, and AVGN says that Bores' face would make AVGN hurl, or vomit.)
Just like Nintendo Power, you have the rap level of a girl!
(Nintendo Power was a magazine series about Nintendo video games, and many other things. In AVGN's review on the magazine, there's a very corny rap, and he compares Bores' rapping to that rap.)
Screw you, you're an anal bead, covered in spit!
(AVGN usually makes up various insults, and in this case, he calls Bores an anal bead (a sex toy), covered in saliva.)
To make reviews of games, you need to have some wit!
(Bores, in many instances of his show, is seen to be very horrible at video games, not even reading the instuction manual for story, or even gameplay. He also ocasionally misses important parts of some of the games he plays, while AVGN isn't known for that.)
You need more emotion to actually gain fans!
(Bores' acting, usually described, was forced, often looking like Bores was obviously faking it, while AVGN's acting was claimed by many to be very good.)
I've been making movies before you even had hands!
(Bores was known only after Rolfe made AVGN, while before Rolfe even thought of the series, he was a young filmmaker, experimenting with many movie styles, all leading up to his very own movie.)
Bitch, I'm a legend, I'll Cinemassacre your family,
(AVGN says that's he's way more superior than Bores, and says that he'll kill his family. That is also a pun on the company AVGN is in, Cinemassacre, with the logo being a bloody chainsaw.)
You're just a troll magnet while I get all the flattery.
(Bores has been known to have many trolls and haters, while AVGN gets attention and many fans, what flattery means.
Quit sittin' around, jerking your Qbert on your NES,
(AVGN says that Bores should stop masturbating, something lonely people without a girlfriend are said to do. This could also be a pun on the old NES game, Qbert.)
What kind of 20 year old fatass has not touched a girl's breasts?!
(AVGN says that while he has a wife, Bores has no girlfriend, and in this case, never once had sex with a woman.)
I'mma finish yo ass like Legend of Zelda 2,
(AVGN reviewed The Legend of Zelda II:The Link to the past, unknowingly beating the game when he uses The Power Glove, so he says that he'll beat Bores with ease like how he beat Zelda II.)
You're a solo douchebag trying to mess with my crew!
(Bores does his videos alone, while AVGN has a whole company, friends, and fans on his side.)
Angry Video Game Nerd, don't forget it, you lose!
(AVGN says that Bores will remember his name, after he viciously beats him in the battle.)
Because you love kissing my ass for a couple thousand views!
(Again, since Bores is called a plagarist of the AVGN by many, he says that he copies the AVGN (or kisses his ass) for fame.)
Again, I don't copy you, how many times do I have to say it?
(Bores once again denies the "plagarist" accusation.)
I'll beat your ass and upload it, hell, I'll even create a playlist.
(Bores says that he'll beat AVGN, and upload it as a video on YouTube, even create a playlist full of the same thing.)
I'm killing you quick with my wits, I don't need my fists,
(He says that he'll defeat AVGN fast with his "wits", saying that he doesn't need his fists, either.)
When your name is just said, it just gets me pissed.
(Even when AVGN's name is said, Bores says that it gets him enraged.)
You wanna battle with this? Just try and blitz,
(Bores dares that the Nerd tries to spit "flawless" lryics/drops bombs, (or blitz, strategic bombing, in this case)
I'll show this Nerd some serious shit!
(Bores says that he'll show Rolfe his enraging "power")
I spit an aura of hate, bitch! I'll verbally rip off your balls!
(Bores is saying that he's the more angry reviewer, and he'll rip off James' balls with his lryics.)
Fuck your show man, once I'm famous, I'll never give you any calls!
(Bores is saying once he's famous, he'll never notify the Nerd of that fact.)
Shut the fuck up, you twit, you will never beat me!
(Bores calls Rolfe foolish and annoying, and says that he'll never defeat him.)
Your shitty rhymes are more repetitive than Ninja Turtles 3.
(Bores reviewed Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 3 for the NES, and said that he disliked it.)
Here we go, time to take you back to the past,
(AVGN says that Bores never knew anything about video games, and that he'll take him "back to the past", a line used in the theme song of AVGN's show, "He's gonna take you back to the past,")
To play the shitty games like you, they probably suck ass!
("To play the shitty games that suck ass" is the following part of lryics in the AVGN theme, and he compares Bores himself to the horrible games he plays.
Your whole series should've ended before it was even thought of!
(Bores is often told that The Irate Gamer Show should never have existed, AVGN says the same thing.)
I'll shove my fist down your throat with my Nintendo Power Glove!
(A commonly used item in the AVGN series is The Power Glove, an old NES accessory that AVGN reviewed once, and he says that he'll suffocate Bores with the Power Glove.)
Rolling Rock your pet's brains out, make you regret, and pout!
(This could be a reference to many of the side characters Bores uses, often being called "annoying" or "useless", and Rolfe calls them "pets". He says that he'll "rock (bust) their brains out", while a pun on the beer AVGN commonly drinks (Rolling Rock) is used.)
Hell, if you even had a girlfriend, I would give her a shout!
(Bores doesn't have a girlfriend, and if he did have one, AVGN would tell her about the "horrid" things Bores has done.)
How can anyone give credit to a dude who steals original ideas?
(AVGN again calls Bores a plagarist, since AVGN's reviewing idea was the first of its kind.)
I would rather get shit on by a buffalo drenched in diarrhea!
(Many things AVGN says, "I would rather _" after he finds out horrible parts about the games he plays, he says that he would rather have a buffallo decafitate (or shit) on him than look at Bores' videos.)
(During most of his battles with AVGN, he shouts "NERD!" to Rolfe, warning him that he'll fight him, and in this case, he's warning both Bores and Rolfe, who he both calls "nerds".)
Prepare to get crushed by Channel Awesome,
(Channel Awesome is the company Walker works for, so he says that the entire company will "crush" the two.)
You're nothing but a demo reel, so proceed with caution.
(After Walker announced that he was going to cancel his show (which he later brought back), he did videos called "Demo Reel", which were disliked by the fans, so he compares both reviewers to the Demo Reels.)
That Guy With The Glasses is here to kick both of your asses,
(Walker's website, where he has his Nostalgia Critic is called "That Guy With The Glasses", and he says that he'll beat both Bores and Rolfe.)
Shoot you piss holes with my pistol, abomination of assness!
(Walker says that he'll shoot the two with his commonly-used pistol. "Abomination of assness" was an insult used in the Nostalgia Critic review, "The Thief and the Cobbler".)
Here's a top 11 of why you suck with aplomb,
(Walker was known for doing top 11 lists, and he says that he'll make one on why they both suck. "Aplomb" means confidence, so it could possibly mean that he is doing the list with pride.)
Number 1, You two seriously overdrop the f-bomb.
(Both reviewers are known for saying the word "fuck" many times, and Walker thinks that is annoying.)
You've Doug your own grave and now I Walker all over you.
(Walker used his first and last name in the saying, "You've dug your own grave, and now I walk all over you", meaning that fighting Walker was a mistake, and that he would easily beat them.)
I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don't have to!
(Walker ends the battle saying the phrase that always say at the end of their videos : "I'm the Nostalgia Critic, and I remember it so you don't have to.)