Eminem vs Macklemore is the fourteenth installment of Epic Rap Battle Parodies. It features 7 rappers, Macklemore, Eminem, Andy Milonakis, Eyedea, Mac Miller, Kid Rock, and Tupac Shakur, all battling against each other to see who is the best rapper altogether.
This battle will leave you crying like that guy, you know, Stan?
I mean, you should have been imprisoned, you killed your number-one fan.
Can't spell your own name, that's why your E's backwards.
Any my recognition grew faster than your dick, you bastard.
You got beaten by your papa, that's what your songs are about.
You should try to make something original, other than anger and pout.
Say "I'm Not Afraid" one more time, I know you're wrong.
Shit, it was 99 cents, and still nobody bought your songs.
Ladies and gentlemen, introducing Marshall Mathers!
I'm the greatest rapper of all time, unlike this swagger-jacker.
I'm Not Afraid to beat your ass, bring you hell 'till I collapse!
I've made myself a great life, despite my painful past.
All you've got is your Thrift Shoppers, who just want their money back.
I'm the most greatest rapper, son, and I ain't even black!
I grew up in the streets, bitch, and I can spit a verbal flood.
I'll take that 20 dollars and cover your fur coat with blood.
I'll steal your grandpa's style then walk away, smilin',
And now I'm Gone, I don't wanna see you cryin' show me the Proof that you even had a friend!
Your mother almost died while giving birth, I wouldn't blame her.
And she even tried to sue you, Mother of Year right there.
The only thing this faggot can do is get de-homed.
There's only so many ways I can say you got owned.
Now that the Real Slim Shady has finally stood up.
I'm gonna Ben Faggerty to just shut the fuck up!
You Cinderella Man, dressing up in your mom's fur coat.
You base all your songs on a retarded kid's quote!
My Name is Slim Shady, don't you forget it, Macklewhore.
'Cause owning you over and over is just becoming a chore!
I'm the rap battle king! Haven't you seen 8 Mile? Sheesh!
And your raps stink even more than R. Kelly's piss sheets.
I rock peas on my head, but don't call me a peahead.
It's time to show these swaggy faggies that they're truly inbred.
I had my own shows on MTV, all you had was lawsuits.
You should be in a basket, because your raps are like fruits.
That means you're little homosexuals that whine and cry.
And write raps about your life story and how you want to die.
"Humor is a great defense mechanism."
My raps will grow unlike my congenital hormone syndrome!
Macklemore? More like Macklewhore! What's up with that?
Did Ryan Lewis touch your cold ass honky, in your pants you went ka-splat?
I would rather eat a bag of Skittles than acknowledge Eminem.
I will brutally stab you, throw you in the trunk like Kim!
If you're a dumb, spitting, wigger, you're not the King of Rap.
Emimore, you're about to be conjoined with a bitch slap!
You're never gonna diss the Schmandy Schmiloschmakis.
Because it's my show, I'm Andy Milonakis!
Back from the dead, The Monsters Inside were released.
By the end, even you Eminem won't dream, you'll be deceased.
I'm the God of Freestyle, you're reading scripts to try and diss.
You bring my purest disgust, you and your writers get me pissed.
I'm the best kind, teach you a lesson, we ain't fessin'
Missin' by a mile blindly firin' you made my rhymes the best medicine.
I've got Abilities on my side, Big Macklemore, try not to cry.
I'd say I'm sorry, but, rockstars don't apologize.
Slim Shady's just another joke, nobody knows who's the real him.
And what the hell's a Milonakis? Never heard of ya' double chin.
You've sinned against a savior, hope the Lord's willin' to free ya'
Just remember you can kill the man but not the Eyedea.
Hold on K.I.D. Mac Mill in the build.
Life ain't easy when you're rapping against me.
It's a good evening to walk the walk with these, Nike's on my feet.
My raps are iller, you can call me Mac Miller, M Jackson I'm so Thriller,
My rhymes are sick, you'll be Under the Weather.
When it comes to rap, it's got my name in Diamond and Gold.
I got the fortune and fame, I'm runnin' this rap game!
Slap the language out your mouth, you need "English Lane."
One more thing, funny thing is your asses worse than Lil Wayne.
All of yall, I'm puttin' your name, to fucking shame!
ROCK ON! Kid Rock's here to kick some ass!
Just like my guitars, I put my raps on full blast.
I'm Born Free, Rock and Rolling with Jesus.
But before I do it again I'll you rehabbers defeated!
Macklemore, you're just a boy talking about a gay bar.
I can make better songs with a broken guitar.
And Marshall Mathers or Slim Shady, either way I'll teach you a lesson.
Why don't you quit trying to rap and take some anti-depressants?
Mr. Milonakis, you ain't packing heat, you're packing pork.
Why don't you get off your lazy ass and maybe put down the fork?
I've got an Eyedea, how about I hang you by the throat?
Everybody knows you're gonna die of a rap overdose!
The King has entered, so all eyes on me!
I'm a hardcore legend, unlike these cracker pussies.
I'll take all you punks at once, so let's see what you got.
I'll own your asses faster than my black ass got shot!
Got a pack three times my name, ya'll are lame.
Just a bunch of city ass white rappers gaining cheap fame.
So badass I was in jail, before I was even born.
I'm a shining serpant with rhymes that don't get worn.
Ching ching ching, broke bitches, it's checkout time.
And then time to sit your asses down for a lesson in rhyme.
Your raps are criminal, have fun with the fuzz.
Smoke you harder than Snoop Dogg does!
Keep your hat on everybody, these fools going down.
Shit's going down, the OG runs this town.
They took me out in '96, but I'm still on stage with B.I.G.
And the world will always remember me as the real MC!
This battle had many scrapped lyrics. They're all listed below.
- I'm gonna pop a tag in this man's ass ??"
- Show me the "Proof" that you even had a friend
- Just like your D12 duo, they both had to come to an end.
- We all know you cant be our superman,
- you killed your only one fan named stan!
- You're mother almost died while giving birth? I wouldn't blame her.
- And she EVEN TRIED TO SUE YOU, BECAUSE YOU'RE SUCH A COMPLAINER!!!
- Now the real Slim Shady has stood up finally
- and he's going crush you down, you won't make a Recovery
- You support gay rights, ha, that explains your last name
- Haggerty rhymes with Faggerty, and your rapping's very lame
- I have an Eyedea, how about you three just shut your lips
- I can spit so many rhymes and I don't even need a script.
- So try and smile because everything’s perfect you see
- Everyone realizes the truth the real winner is me.
- Yo , Eminem, I hear you call yourself lord of white rapping
- Well I stepped into your domain, and when in Rome kill the king
- Mac Miller aint shit, I could rip right through you,
- I'll burn this EZ Mac just like Hitler did the Jews
- I'm an American Bad Ass, a Cowboy standin' strong
- With only one verse I beat your asses All Summer Long!
- Are y'all on your periods? Do any of you need a pad?
- This is the Tupacalypse, and I'm krazier than a Komrad
- All y'alls lives bout to become a traffic jam
- I'm so passionate about rap, I came back as a hologram
- I'm untouchable, but you gaytards still want my nuts
- Shady, you wanna be a thug? I don't give a fuck
- This is the second battle where someone had to voice someone, but not appear in the video, the first being Tony Montana vs Al Capone.
- This battle had very many scrapped lyrics.
- This is the first battle royale in the series.
- This is the second battle to use an instrumental beat from the "Epic Rap Battles of History" series. The beat that Tupac raps to is also the beat used in "Babe Ruth vs Lance Armstrong", except that the pitch is lowered.