Gabe Newell
Screen shot 2014-04-09 at 8.05.57 PM
Character Information
Birth name Gabe Logan Newell
Nickname(s) GabeN


Born November 3, 1962
Physical description
Hair Brown
Eyes Green
Based On
Rap Battle Information
Appeared In Gabe Newell vs Shigeru Miyamoto
Vs Shigeru Miyamoto


Release Date March 14, 2014
Votes on Wiki 44%
Location(s) Valve Corporation
Gabe Newell is one of the rappers who appeared in Epic Rap Battle Parodies 36 . He was played by Justin. He battled Shigeru Miyamoto.

Information on the RapperEdit

Gabe Logan Newell (born November 3, 1962) is the co-founder and managing director of video game development and online distribution company Valve Corporation. 


Verse 1

Let me explain the true meaning behind your little Wii,

Winning is impossible, when rapping against me

You think you're in Heaven's Hands, up with the stars?

I'm surprised that terrible graphics could get you that far

I'll chop you in half, just like my Steam game prices

Counter Strike you with rhyme, crush you like your handheld devices

Wii U and GameCube? I'd rather play a PlayStation

Crushing your Super Smash Balls as I score a domination

You lost the console war; you have no chance in this fight

You're a mistake like those let's play copyright strikes

I've seen better graphics on an old Tamagotchi

Prepare to die, Shiggy, just like Hiroshi Yamauchi

Verse 2

MEDIC! Come and give my rhymes an Ubercharge

It's time to change class and show this loser who we are

Verse 3

It's taking me a while to make Half Life 3, yes

But at least I'm not trying to sell a failed 2DS

You even said yourself, delayed games are eventually better

But in your case, they'll all just be bad forever