The difference between Playboy and Playhouse is simple
(Starting the battle off, Hefner states the connection between him and Herman, Playboy and Playhouse, and states that there is quite a simple difference between them.)
You took my title and stuck a “with” in the middle
(Hefner is saying that Herman took the title "Playboys" and stuck "with" in the middle turning into "Play with boys." Herman's actor, Paul Reuben, was charged as a sex offender for having a vintage collection of pictures of children engaging in pornographic situations.)
I’ll have to riddle ‘gainst a little kid who didn’t take his Ritalin
("Riddle 'gainst" is a way to say "rap battle." Herman is known for acting childish within his franchise. Ritalin is a medication used to tone down ADHD. Hefner is mocking Herman's childish and active behavior by saying he is a kid who did not take the perscribed Ritalin he needs.)
And giggles like his nipples got twisted but thinks it’s tickling.
(Herman's iconic giggle or laugh sounds like he is somewhat in pain. Hefner mocks this in saying his giggle is the effect of Herman's nipples being twisted, with Herman giggling at it tickling him, but sounding as if he is in pain as well.)
Wishing Miss Yvonne would kiss you “right where it hurts, ma’am”
(Miss Yvonne was known as "the most beautiful girl in puppet land," and Herman, among other characters, had a notable crush on her. "Right where it hurts, ma'am" is an inneundo for blowjob, which Hefner mocks with saying Herman can only wish Miss Yvonne would do that to him. "Wishing" could be a reference to Jambi, the genie who lived in the Playhouse who gave Pee-wee one wish per day. Children typically ask their parents or an adult to kiss their boo-boos so this is another insult towards Herman's child-like personality.)
But with that Pee-Wee, you’ll never be Her Man
(Continuing to mock Herman's chances with Miss Yvonne, Hefner makes puns off of Pee-Wee's name. "With that Pee-Wee," an obvious bash at saying Herman has a small penis, and "you'll never be Her Man," as in Herman's chances with Miss Yvonne are about as big as his penis, and the size of those chances are caused by the size of his penis.)
Your Rising Action Climaxed in the previews
(Another bash against Pee-Wee's name as well as his popularity. The rising action is a moment in a movie where the story line usually has a huge take off, and is also a slur for a man becoming erect. The climax is basically the biggest point of the story line, as well as a slur for when a man ejaculates during sex. Hefner is saying that the rising action of Herman's movies climaxed in their previews, meaning they weren't as good in the actual movies, and that Herman is too quick in bed, and only gives a preview of what he can do.)
When Pee-wee was “cumming in theaters near you”
(A popular phrase used to announce the release of an upcoming film, is "coming in theaters near you". Pee-Wee Herman's actor, Paul Reubens, was caught mastrubating in a public theater bathroom. "Cumming" is slang for ejaculation.)
HAHA! A bunny suits you well
(The introduction to Pee-Wee's Playhouse had Pee-wee laugh before the actual song began, which is referenced here. Hefner owns the Playboy mansion which is home to both him and the Playboy Bunny models. Herman is saying that a bunny suits Hefner well because...)
the way you hop around town playing show and tell!
(...of all the Playboy models he has picked up. Bunnies are known for being able to reproduce rapidly and give birth to many infants at any one time, and are also known for hopping. Herman claims Hefner hops around like a bunny playing "show and tell," as a sexual innuendo, with the models.)
Making beds rock out of wedlock of the law,
(Once again referring to Hefner having sexual intercourse with the models, or making their beds rock. "Out-of-wedlock" means two people having sex without having plans of being married or becoming married at all. Hefner is known for having sex with his models.)
I don’t know how you keep it up with that pin above your balls!
(Herman is saying her he doesn't know how Hefner can keep up the amount of sex he's having, possibly a reference to his age, as well as the "pin" above his balls. "Pin" is a play on "pin-up books" as well as Herman calling Hefner's penis small, which would make one question how someone could have sex as much as Hefner does.)
‘Cause your pals are only palimonies, after you’re deceased
(A palimony is a division of financial assests and real property on termination of a relationship of marriage between parties. Hefner has no marriage with his models, but he does have them live on his property and financial assests as well as sexual intercourse.)
You’ll be a veteran remembered as an Editor in Chief!
(Following up his previous line about the aftermath of Hefner's death, Herman says he'll only be remembered as the Editor in Chief of the Playboy magazines, rather than being a veteran. The "in Chief" is also a reference to "Commander-in-chief" which is a referene to the President, who oversees veterans, and could also be a comparison of Hefner being the "president" of the Playboy magazines.)
You’re a Crooked Man who I’m gonna subscribe to the Bible
(In many eyes, Hefner could be seen as a crooked man for having sex with so many women instead of settling down with one and marrying her. "Crooked" can mean evil, in which would be a reference to the fact Hefner is known to have sex with multiple women. Herman says he's going to subscribe Hefner to the Bible, the way one would subscribe to Playboy Magazine, so that Hefner can read it and "correct" his actions to fit it.It is also a refrence to the short story of the same title Hefner published about a world where Homosexuality was normal and heterosexuals were persecuted.When the book received complaints Hefner said if persecution of heterosexuals in a world mainly homosexual was wrong so was the opposite.)
and override your Bi-cycle with my bicycle!
(Herman has an iconic red bike that he was searching for in his film. Hefner once had sex with men for purely experimental purposes. Basically, Herman is making a pun of some sorts,)
You’re a schizophrenic mess who’s poisoning a generation
(With the way that Pee-wee's playhouse is set up, it could be said Pee-wee is not experiencing any of it and is just a schizophrenic mess who thinks he has a robot and animate furniture. Hefner says this kind of entertainment is poisoning a generation.)
Try and gaze at my mansion while you’re enslaved in your basement
(This is a comparison of the two homes the opponents live in. Hefner lives in the Playboy Mansion, which is a huge establishment. Herman lives in a relatively small playhouse which is about the size of a basement. Hefner tells Herman to look at the size of the establishment he owns from the basement Herman is within.)
‘Cause you’re a nerd hippie, I’m a strapping geriatric gladiator
(Many of the things within Pee-Wee's Playhouse could be seen as nerdy and/or hippie in society. Hefner says that Herman himself is a nerd hippie in representation of that. Hefner then calls himself a strapping geriatric gladiator. Strapping meaning big and strong, geriatric, which refers to the health of elders, which, considering Hefner's situation with women, is quite well for his age, and a gladiator, meaning he could basically crush a nerd hippie such as Herman. Strapping could also be a reference to a strap on, a belt-like sex toy worn around the waist with a rubber penis attached to it and typically used by women and Hefner probably has had these used during his sexual exeperiences.)
And I’ll have you running like a fidgety refrigerator
(One of the many wacky furniture pieces of Pee-Wee's Playhouse was the refrigerator which had the food become sentient and do many common day things one would do in the cooler conditions similar to that of a refrigerator or freezer. Fidgety means restless or uneasy, which is basically what was going on with the food inside Herman's refrigerator. Hefner says he'll leave Herman in the same state as the food within the refrigerator.)
Crank all the prank calls you think won’t tank
(This could possibly be a nod to the previous line, as the most classic prank call is "Is your refrigerator running? Because you better go and catch it!" Randy, one of the residents of the Playhouse, did this prank call in the episode Rain Day.)
‘Till you underpay the interest accrued in your Spank Bank
(A spank bank is a collection of memories stored in a person's mind that are used as fantasies for masturbation purposes. Pornography could also be saved in a spank bank and Reubens was arrested on child pornography charges in 2002 that were later dropped, which the underpay is a reference to.)
You think you’re forgotten from watching me lay it down?
(Hefner questions Herman's mind set as to if Herman thinks he's forgotten from Hefner having had a more lasting and notable influence, especially on the women he laid it down with.)
No, I just had more “versatile” toys in my playhouse
(Hefner then assures Herman that he's not forgotten. However, he implies Hefner will be remembered once Herman is forgotten because he has more versatile, or more able, toys, or women, in his playhouse, or mansion.)
Not ONE good joke! Guess you can’t Stand Up!
(Herman mocks Hefner's second verse saying it had no good jokes in it at all. He even goes as far as to say he can't stand up, a reference to stand up comedy, which Herman's actor was known for doing in the character of Herman, and also to the fact that most people Hefner's age need a cane or walker in order to stand up.)
Plus, you might “stop motion” if your heart rate goes nuts!
(Stop motion is a type of animation that was used with some of the characters in Herman's show. Hefner, being at an old age, could quite possibly have a heart attack from his heart attack rising quickly, or going nuts, from the amount of sex he has at his age, causing him to "stop motion," or pass out or potentially die.)
I know the mind of a child and I’ll use it to crack your code
And add some 49 more shades of red to your bathrobe!
(Hefner is comparable to Christian Grey from the book and movie, Fifty Shades of Grey. Hefner wears a red bathrobe. Herman follows up his previous line of saying he will make his bathrobe have fifty shades of red, having what could be blood stains, from "cracking" his code.)
With a tip of the hat I’ll be tipping your boat
If you're joking, I’ll be literally coming at your throat
Now we both play with plastic toys but why?
I know you are, butt! What am I?
(This line is a reference to one of Pee-Wee's recurring jokes: "I know you are, but what am I?". However, the word "but" is changed to its homophone "butt", implying - along with the previous line - that Hefner is playing with butts.)
It’s sad your form of literature is Otherkins on Calendars.
(Otherkins are people who believe themselves to be animals. Playboy models are referred to as "Playboy Bunnies," mainly due to the fact they will dress up as bunnies, therefore could be considering as otherkins. These models appear on calenders as well as in the Playboy comics, or works of literature in which Hefner works in, which Herman says is sad.)
You’re no entrepreneur, your category is Amateur!
I’ll force you in your drawer in the morgue with those loose screws
'Cause we all scream when we see you as if the secret word was HUGH!
(In Pee-Wee's Playhouse, at the beginning of every episode, Conky, Herman's robot friend, would print out a secret word, which no one would be able to say for the rest of the episode, or else everyone would have to scream. Screaming is more commonly done in situations where one is scared. Herman claims everyone is scared of Hefner, and screams when they see him, as if the secret word of the day was "Hugh".)