|Richard Simmons vs David Hasselhoff|
|Release Date||April 2, 2014|
|Views||18,000+ (As of January 16)|
|Previous||Paul Bunyan vs Johnny Appleseed|
|Next||Peter Griffin vs Homer Simpson|
Justin Buckner as Aerobics Man #1
GetSlayedTV as Aerobics Man #2
SuperThingsOnCups as Aerobics Man #3
The Hoff is coming in to make this pansy boy drop flat,
On his ass, I'll swim to victory at last!
You don't know physical fitness, the only thing here to witness,
Is a bendy curvey bitch doing aerobics with his disco stick!
You're getting old, I can see your FUPA through those shorts!
You athletic abortion, thank the Lord you don't play sports!
I'll keep watching my beaches, you stick to sweatin' with the oldies.
Shove your tapes up your ass, video my body glowing!
Judging by all your wives, how can your surfboard stand?
Your career is as trashed as your failed garage band!
Your bathing suit's so tight, I don't wanna see what's in there.
Just know, I rap harder than your nipples in the winter!
Your muscles keep on flexing, while I'm running so majestic,
I've had a damn succesful life, Davie, so just respect it!
I'll leave you hoffing, without a hassel, before you can do anything to me.
Your career went down the drain, and into the Spongebob Movie!
I'm a sex machine, I mean, I have two gorgeous daughters.
You're a 70 year old virgin dressed in glitter knickerbockers.
I'm the best hunk, driving talking cars, that you've never seen.
The only way I'd let you KISS me, is if your name was Gene!
And you aint rich, you look like the poorest orphan from outer space!
A flamboyant pasty face, less known than HoffSpace!
I'm saving lives, rockin' speedos! You're a weirdo, I'm a boss!
You're just the gay, skinny, dancing version of Bob Ross!
Work it, work it! Feel the burn of my disses!
Quit showing off your pecks, and listen to how I spit this!
I'm selling VHS's by the dozens, your fans left you abandoned!
You're a lunatic lifegaurd, find a beach that isn't stranded!
You better Baywatch yourself, I'm spitting more than you can chew!
The only action you got as an old man was a sponge riding you!
It's curtains for you, Hasselballs, it's time that we all cheer!
Now twist, turn, stretch and get the fuck out of here.