Time to spit rhymes so fiery, you'll be letting out a howl,
Cause this pissy chef is about to get some one-on-one time with Simon Cowell!
You can't cook shit, even if it's literally a big steaming pile of turds!
You're from Shakespeare's hometown, but you're terrible with words!
I'm rich and influential, you can't buy me, calm your racket!
Why are you yelling at chefs when you couldn't even win a black jacket?
I fucking hate you and all your shows because it's just an act, your,
Rhymes suck, but I got what it takes, I guess you could say I have the X Factor!
JP, open Hell's Kitchen, it's time to smash in this asshole's jaw,
What the fuck are you doing, Syco? Your rhymes are fucking raw!
(Gordon makes a play on the word psycho and Syco, the name of Simon Cowell's entertainment company. Gordon is known for yelling at contestants on Hell's Kitchen for preparing raw food, which is what he sees Simon's lines as.)
Oh, I've seen your shows, you're not a judge, you're a first-class whiner,
Get your act together, dick-face, this isn't a fucking fast food diner!
I've written tons of books and been on shit-tons of shows!
Red or black? Pfft, it's not like I'd expect you to fucking know!
You married a make-up artist? What the fuck is wrong with your face?
Evidently, Britain's got talent, just not in your case!
(Britain's Got Talent is a reality talent competition created by Simon Cowell. Gordon says that he is evidence that Britain has talent since he is a world-renowned chef unlike Simon who has no talent.)
What in the bloody hell was that? That was dreadful, my god!
(Simon Cowell became well-known for his harsh and brutal criticisms towards terrible singers on American Idol. Simon gives Gordon similar criticisms that he would a bad singer.)
Not to mention you go apeshit over one raw piece of cod!
I don't mean to be rude, but your rhymes are utter trash.
Calm your ass, you don't need to yell 24/7, you'll still earn cash!
Shut up, Whore-don Ramsay, and for God's sake, quit your bitchin'
Quit trying to rap, just grab a tampon and get back to the kitchen!
(Simon compares Gordon to a woman going through PMS due to his moodiness. He continues this insult by making a sexist remark of women belonging in the kitchen.)
Your restaurants don't have such great reviews, uh-oh!
And your raps are just so damn awful, even Paula would say no!
(On American Idol, Paula Abdul is known for being a super nice judge in comparison to Simon Cowell, usually saying yes for people to go through. Simon says that Gordon's raps are so terrible, even Paula would hate them.)
Me, awful? You can't even tell if someone can't sing!
If I can fall off a cliff and live, your rhymes won't do a fucking thing!
(In 2008, Ramsay fell off of a 85 foot cliff in Westman Islands, located in Iceland while filming a puffin hunting segment. Gordon says that if he could survive such a life-threatening ordeal, then Simon's raps will have no effect on him.)
By the end, you'll be ill, no Divo, understood?
(This is a play on Il Divo, a classical crossover group created by Simon Cowell. Gordon says that by the end of this battle, he is going to be ill.)
Go back to banging fat Susan with your little piece of wood!
(Susan Boyle was a contestant on the third season of Britain's Got Talent who gained international fame for her opera singing. Gordon insults both Susan's weight and Simon's penis size, telling him to leave the battle and have sex with Susan.)
You say you're better than me but I must make a correction!
How can anyone speak positively of you? You created One Direction!
(One Direction is an English boy band that was created by Simon Cowell in the seventh season of The X Factor UK. There are many out there who dislike One Direction and Gordon wonders how anyone can brag on Simon's accomplishments if he put together a terrible group.)
Now that you have been defeated by the one and only Gordon Ramsay!
PISS OFF, GET THE FUCK OUT, YOU'RE DONE, OKAY!?