|Steve vs Joe 2|
|Release date||April 1st, 2016|
|Number||April Fool's Special 3|
|Previous||Jigsaw vs GLaDOS|
|Next||Epic Rap Battle Parodies 58|
LazyRamenProductions (Stock Footage)
Lauren Flans (Stock Footage)
MaNCHA (Guest Announcer)
Salt & Pepper
|Cameos||Steve Spangler |
|Location(s)||Steve's Living Room w/ Thinking Chair |
Steve vs Joe 2 is the 2016 April Fool's Special for Epic Rap Battle Parodies. It features former Blues Clue's host Steve Burns returning for a rematch against his brother and former Blue's Clues host Joe. It was released on April 1st, 2016.
LazyRamenProductions as Steve (cameo, Stock Footage)
B-Lo Lorbes as Diego Dino Dan And Trek
Stofferex as Dora
UnamusedDetective as Molly
Frenzy as DJ Lance Rock
Grumpydoesart as herself
VinnyO as Kai-Lan
Adam(Pool) as Oobi
Yo it's Steve Burns and I'm coming in hot
Blue's Clues sucks now a bit? No a lot
Even if I won you'll be wondering how
Your face will be like Magenta and Blue, Boom Kapow
I'll rub your butt and make a wish like a genie ass
Uh...uh...YOU'RE A GENIUS! :)))))))
I look fly in my green and white striped shirt, BITCH
Wait a second...*looks down at shirt* AW FUCK! GODDAMMIT! SHIT!
If you don't shut up now then I'd like to know when
You got a fast rap last time, so here's my r-r-revenge
Oh hey it's Joe, gonna rap so fast you wont be able to tolerate it
Your ass got played by Hunter Tolliver in the last rap battle bitch, and that's some weird shit
Because he's not even around anymore, he's just some goddamn old news
Stay away from little kids and shit, that's some weird shit, I bet you show them your nudes
Now I'm gonna FLIP THE FUCK OUT all over your ass and it'll be really uncalled for
Just like you added some extra characters to the Death Note battle I suggested, you WHORE
I have to admit bro, the show's been pretty shitty
Since you left for some titties in Liberty City
Hey, can I have some nudes like my original body actor?
Gotta leave for college just like my original body actor
Thank you Steve, that was a fucking horrible presentation
Now I'll show you that I'm loved around the nation!
Well, there's more episodes with me than you so you'd better be crying
I'm calling in Salt and Pepper to make you totally dying
Salt & Pepper: Edit
Hon hon! It's the best condiments here to make you weep!
Push it real good, like I shove a baguette inside of ye'
Let's talk about sex, baby, wait, wrong Salt and Pepper!
You cannot step to us because we are much better!
Sounds like you're a bit salty, hue hue hue
And also a bit peppery, you're a jew jew jew
It's a CLUE! Time for male time, bitch! Suck my balls
I was gonna say you won but I FOOLED YOU ALL
Yo, I'm spitting so fast, lick my butt
And Salt and Pepper, you said what?
I'm the best, I'm banging on my chest
I don't even have a chest, so lick my breast
I don't even have a breast, so lick my Shovel and Pail
You. Are. An epic fail.
Yo, it's the blue paint that's always on the carpet
'Bout to kick your ass like it was a Sparta kick!
Oh god! Please don't put me in another rap vid!
I don't want to be a porn star, you fucking immature kids!
Now wait a sucky second, all of you are fast rapping
But I'm the OG jew fast rapper, so please stop crapping
Steve will sparta kick you down a notch, 'cause this is Blues Clues!
I bet you can't even handle an inch of my LONG PENIS YOU JEW
Sooo now it's time for my fast rap, I'm Steve Burns bitch
Gonna make you all Ben Drowned, and please suck my jewish clit
Oh wait I'm a male human being who does not have a vagina
You immigrated fucks, go back to jewish China
I'm a scientific wonder, I'm on Ellen, wait that's Steve Spangler
Go watch out for your dog Joe..... Imma hang her
- Bob the Builder: Can we fix it, guys?
- Trucks: Yes we can!
Bob the Builder: Edit
I am not a crook. I'm a yellow-dressed builder. When it comes to ladies, I'm a man who can fix her You being a good show for children is something quite debatable The way you fap, the way you slap, you're far from educational When it comes to being in the battle, can I fix it? Yes we can Everyone who watches your shit says you're a messy hand I'm gonna build a door, so you can walk out of it bitch! I'm British like Fel, so go and grab the secret of my dick!
- Bob the Builder: *coughs* Fuck.
Uno, dos, tres, I'll make you need a brace This battle would be more offensive than the portrayal of your race Lemme show you how to recite your fucking ABC's A-B-C-D-fuck yourself-E! I'm not a skank and I'm not a fucking ho But I'll suck your dick, yum yum yum, delicioso! What was your favorite part of me kicking Steve And Joe's asses? ...That's mine too, faggots!
Hola Ms. Explorer, it's about time we finally meet I'll swing on vines, then have you suck my meet (hehe) I'll kidnap Boots and punch you in the lung After this battle you'll say "FUCK THIS SHIT, I'M DONE" I'm making kids laugh, yours are just getting boreder I'm swinging vines across the streams, you can't cross the border Dora, I must confess, you are H-O-T So hot, that you should come over and pee on me
- Twist: Wcke wicke wicke! Wick- *wheezes*
Twist it, Twist it! I make music, BITCH I'm the greatest ginger snapping pimp you'll meet with a diss I'm a ripped twisted bitch and a disk jockey Pablo and Lance, go play some fucking hockey Maria sucked my dick, so you should too I'm a dancing silly motherfucker who likes to watch your toons All of you gather around and suck my metal penis I'm running out of rhymes like I'm running out of batteries
- Twist: ???
I'm Squirt, from Miss Spider's palace And I'll Squirt you with cum, throw you off balance I've arrived on time to this battle, you showed up late I'm a riggedy diggedy spider, I'll kill your prostate! You know where my web will land? In your eyes None of you know how to fucking rap, unlike I I'll continue to Squirt, squirting up some spittle Whoopsie daisy! Did I pee a little?
- Kai-Lan: Kim Jong-un.
I walked down the street to get some noodles to eat
- Noodle Palace Owner: WELCOME TO THE NOODLE PALACE, WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE?
I'm gonna kill a bitch, and stab them with greet Wait, this battle's not over. It's me, Kai-Lan! Why am I going up against two fucking cousin Talibans? I just opened up a fortune cookie, it says you're going to win Wait, wait, SHIT. FUCK! I read it wrong. Now eat my girly shit Rong rive China, and death to the West! Now I'm gonna leave, so STOP STARING AT MY BREAST
- Kai-Lan: Fuck.
- Albino Ray William Johnson: Hey, I'm the Albino Ray William Johnson. This video got... you know what? Who cares about how mu- uh... who gives a f*ck about how many views this video got? Roll the clip!
- Oswald: Wait a minute... is this Bad Santa? OwooooOOOOOOOOOOO-
I'm Oswald the blue big tentacled squid Kinda like Squidward, but I'm fat and made for kids I'm bluer than the deep blue sea, I'm so cute TEE HEE HEE, I've got all you screamin' SQUEEEE I have a fucking top hat, you have jack shit And I'll harass your female companions, suck their tits Check out my bowl hat, it's blacker than DJ Lance I saw your shows and shoved it DOWN MY NON-EXISTENT PANTS
- Oswald: *coughs* Fuck.
Back from the island, it's Wubbzy here to f-(ight) I'll skeet on your dicks, but I'll do it polite Wow wow wow wow, IT'S FUCKING WUBBZY Now come over to my dick, and give me a rubbzy Wow wow, look at these little wh(ores)- (did I just cut off?) Shrock you to death, and then teach you about chores I'm a simple country girl trying to make it through this world My freckles are bigger than DJ Lance's dick with swirls Wo(w!)-
- GrumpyDoesArt: Amazing.
DJ Lance Rock: Edit
HAHAAAA! Back in black, so quit your yabba jabba jabba After this battle, I'll rock out Yo Gabba Gabba! I'm poppin' Molly, I'm at the top of this battle, I'm high Fuck you you bitch, I'm gonna make you cry I'm a DJ bitch, all of you just suck By the way Molly, your personality's stale as FUUUCK I'm harder than DJ Not Not Not Nice So get on this cross so I can fucking sacrifice!
- DJ Lance: Where's the next verse? Oh Shit-
Dino Dan: Edit
Hello DJ Lance It's Time We Finally Meet
I'm On A Dinosaur Suck My D"ck laughs,
Kidnapped Your Mom And Punched In The Lung After This Battle You Say FUCK THIS SHIT I'M OUT
I'm Making Kids Laugh You's Is Just Getting Boring
You Can't Cross The Wall Dora I Must Confess You Are H-O-T
So HOT You Have Come And Fuck Me
I'm motherfucking Oobi, I'll scratch you with my mouthAfter I'm done jacking off, I'll migrate down South You're just jealous cause guess what bitch? I'm Oobi I'm Oobi, Oobi, Oobi, you can't even touch a boobie Kai-Lan? Ching chang chong the FUCK outta here (yeah!) Dora and Diego? Get back to the border, queers! Twist, you're just a fucking rip-off of Skrillex Now I'm gonna use my hand to suck your damn dicks!
Yo Oobi, how about you leave? You fucking sick shitI'd also like to point out that your head looks like a dick Shut the fuck uppie, 'cause I'm a Bubble Guppy So get the hell out of my pond 'cause I'm like a puppy I'm Bubbling like a Guppy, and I'm the best, you sucky I'll stab you with this needle like that damn doll Chucky I'm a natural born leader, and I'm fucking beautiful Wanna finger me till I cum? Then please do, hun!
Pablo the Penguin: Edit
I'm Pablo the Penguin, I'll end you like Enderman And in the end, you'll bow down to the Backyardigans Bonjour motherfuckers, and get in my backyard Lance is blacker than Tyrone the moose, who I fucked with this scone My name is Pablo Diego Jose Francisco De Paula Hose Sono Maria De Nomedo Fuckriano Ch'e Fuck you and Trinidad Ruiz y Picasso Oh. wait. I'm. not.
I'm Tommy! I'M A BOMB! Tickity tock tick tock Am I a clock or a time bomb? Suck my CLOCK SOCK! Let me tell you a secret. And then I'll have to hang ya' I HAVE A FUCKING CUTE SISTER AND I LIKE TO BANG HER I'm Tommy, and I'm thinking more than a clock So get the Bubble Guppies, and suck my tube sock 'Cause you don't... know... the shit that I brought I saw Dora, and put her back on the shelf at Walmart!
Wha? What the fuck?
You've been a com......you've been in a coma for 17 years
Now let me give you my Joe and Tell you...... QUEER!
- This is the third April Fool's special of the series after Carl Johnson vs Patrick Star and Hancock vs Jack Sparrow.
- This is the first appearance of Yobar, TruthBrood, and MultiSuperVids in the series, and the first rapping appearance of Seth Wisniewski.
- This battle was chosen to fit the unofficially decided upon April Fool's "theme" of 2016 being "Sequels" that many other rap battle series followed for their specials. This battle was selected due to Zander wanting to amp up the disgusting and unnecessary lines that were featured in the original involving incestuous rape threats, racist and anti-semitic remarks, and the general out-of-character attitude from the kid's show characters, and to also bring to life the scrapped "Coma ending" written for the original.
- The subtitles were written for the occasion by HarryPotter2875.
- This is the second time Epic Rap Battle Parodies has featured stock footage from Epic Rap Battles of History, the first being PewDiePie in Slender Man vs Jeff The Killer.
- MaNCHA does guest announcer for this installment, poking fun at JMB's Minecraft Rap Battles and ToonPrince's Epic Rap Battles of TV during the beginning, and his own announcer for Kefka vs Giygas 2 in Uber Rap Battles of Fiction at the end.